The Forest Grove and District Rod & Gun Club has concluded a contentious leadership election, ushering in a new era marked by an unprecedented commitment to analog ballistic computations. Local handloading zealot Bartholomew "Barty" Fink overwhelmingly secured the presidency, with staunch barrel harmonic purist Eleanor "Ellie" Vance elected Vice President. Their joint platform promises a radical overhaul of club match protocols, firmly rejecting what Fink famously termed "the digital crutch."
Effective immediately, all club-sanctioned long-range engagements will require competitors to furnish their DOPE cards derived exclusively from manual calculation. Fink’s stringent new rule mandates the use of traditional slide rules or, for the truly audacious, mental arithmetic, to account for critical variables including coriolis, spin drift, and density altitude. GPS-enabled ballistic calculators are now explicitly banned from the firing line, relegated to "decorative paperweights."
Vance, known for her meticulous attention to velocity nodes and barrel break-in rituals, outlined her vision for the club's positional stages. "The feel of the recoil, the whisper of the wind, the subtle shift in mirage – these are our truest instruments," Vance declared. Members are now encouraged to eyeball density altitude, with significant penalties for anyone caught subtly consulting a Kestrel. Discussions are underway to mandate specific powder charges for club matches, with whispers of a return to single-stage hand presses for all competition ammunition. The club's 100-yard zero range will now feature a mandatory "wind flag calibration" station, requiring shooters to hand-fabricate a standardized wind flag on site using only locally sourced pine needles and spider silk. This bold leadership promises a season of unparalleled technical challenge and, for some members, profound existential dread.
